tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC November 23, 2010 12:05am-1:05am EST
closing argument. a new abc news/"washington post" poll shows americans overwhelmingly support the use of full body x-rays scanners in airport security lines by a two to one margin. but fewer half of those polled like the new procedures. tonight, we ask you, with the holiday travel season upon us, will you alter your travel plans? tell us what you think. from all of us at abc news, good night, america. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with the holiday edition of the play of the week from your pigskin companion all season long, the bud light playbook. there's nothing better than watching the thanksgiving day games with family, friends, a cold bud light and beer muffs to block out the sounds of your annoying family and friends. here we go. happy thanksgiving, guys!
>> uncle frank: happy thanksgiving, jim. guillermo and i were just talking about our favorite thanksgiving side dish. >> jimmy: oh! well, i'd love to hear about that. >> guillermo: i think the best thanksgiving side dish is jell-o. >> uncle frank: you're crazy. it's mashed potatoes. >> guillermo: mashed potatoes are mushy. >> jimmy: hold on a second, did you say "yell-o"? you mean jell-o? >> uncle frank: no, they're not mushy, they're mashed! >> guillermo: what is the difference between mushy and mashed? >> uncle frank: there's a huge difference, right, jim? >> jimmy: i can't hear you at all, uncle frank. >> see? he agrees with me. >> guillermo: i think he is saying they are mushy! >> uncle frank: wait! maybe he's saying we're both right!
right, jim? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: right. >> guillermo: and that is the most important thing, that we are here together. >> uncle frank: he's right. i love you. >> dicky: for more tailgate tips, plays of the week and other shenanigans, visit facebook.com/budlight. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with stana katic, music from train and billy bob thornton. this is the police! what are your demands? hey hey hey! let's stall 'em. i just found some bud light in the back. here we go. we demand a helicopter. [ policeman ] got it. ah, wha?! we demand a hovercraft. a pipe organ. [ organ music plays ] a siberian endangered lynx and my old high school track coach, mr. gill. [ roars ] hey, guys! aaww. they're good. [ male announcer ] it's the sure sign of a good time. the just right taste of bud light. here we go. this is the number to the hideout.
yehya at the 2010 amas. and music from train. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's jimmy kimmel live and now, what do you know, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. that's very nice. hi, everyone, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. pleasure to see you. thank you for joining us. it's monday. i hope you had a good weekend. i had a pretty good weekend. except for one thing. they're playing christmas music on the radio, which -- it's not even thanksgiving yet. i still have a jacko lantern in
front of my house. it's too soon, right? there needs to be a month between "jingle bells" and "the monster mash" the way i see it. they're supposed to wait until after thanksgiving. isn't that the -- this is a violation of the geneva convention going on here. i mean, seriously. the human brain can only here "jingle bell rock" so many times before it orders the body to kill itself. i may be at that point already. while we're at it, somebody please tell starbucks we don't need eggnog lattes in november or ever really. [ laughter ] it's partly my fault for still having a radio in my car. sometimes i turn it on like, you know, for old time's sake. chestnuts can only roast on an open fire for so long before they turn into raisins. i blame oprah for this. oprah officially kicked off the holiday season. with a favorite things episode. part one was friday. part two was today. there were no survivors. oprah gave a car away. an i-pad, popcorn.
her odd yen was enthused. her audience was enthused. [ cheers and applause ] >> ho, ho, ho! [ cheers and applause ] favorite things! [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i can swear i saw ron artest there. are they going to -- what are you going to do? people love body butter, you
know? they gave out a lot of expensive stuff. oprah will be the first person to tell you her favorite things episode has little to do with the things themselves. it's about hope and loving your spirit and empowering your inner angel and touching yourself the way oprah touches us all. it was a deeply spiritual experience. and no one was more filled with the spirit than oprah. >> it's a trifecta favorite things and you get it all! 2012 car! the cars are coming! yeah, yeah, yeah! ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! ahhh! whoo! ahhhh! >> jimmy: oh, my gosh, she's having a seizure. somebody -- [ applause ] someone turn the safety valve. oprah's about to blow! [ laughter ] i tell you what, i hope the
somali pirates don't find out about that seven-day cruise oprah gave away. [ laughter ] of course, not everything oprah gave away was a cruise or a new car. there were some smaller gifts too. like candle and tea. and this. >> it's the special season 25, the farewell season, t-shirts. comes in pink, black, white and green and retails for $38. it's available only at the oprah store and oprah store.com. >> jimmy: yeah. >> no! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i would be willing to bet there are about 250 of those on ebay right now. [ laughter ] tomorrow night, the grand finale of this season's "dancing with the stars." and the big question tonight, was -- what the hell was onwe m ro omarosa doing there?
they shot the apprentice there three years ago and she's been hiding there ever since. jennifer grey, before the season, i bet a lot of money, oprah money, to win it all. kyle massey, who is pretty good. and bristol palin, who isn't good at all, but whose mother has an army of eskimo robots voting for her 24 hours a day. the palins dream of a future in which no american will ever be disqualified from a job simply because he or she sun qualified to do that job. you know, the reports that bristol was a target of a mysterious white powder sent to the "dancing with the stars" studio friday. a package came. at first they thought it was florence henderson's cocaine delivery but -- [ laughter ] too soon? she's alive, right? but turned out to be just -- [ laughter ] well, you never know. turned out to just be talcum powder. which dancer couldn't use a
little talc in all the right places? jennifer grey had a perfect score. kyle massey had 56. bristol palin had 52, the low score. i tell you, if bristol palin really wins, i'm genuinely worried that the integrity of the show is going to be damaged. you can't have the worst dancer win because of an organized phone campaign. if that happens, people aren't going to watch. the dancing will be ruined. and i'm also worried someone might be secretly injecting me with estrogen. [ laughter ] one thing i've noticed watching "dancing with the stars" this season is judge bruno has been saying some very strange things to the dancers. it's easy to overlook these things when they pop out of his mouth. if you ever stop and common them, examine them, you realize this is a crazy person. i'm going to read through a list of quotes which i have here -- which i had here, and you have to figure out did bruno say this or not, all right? it's time to play bru yes or bru no. [ applause ]
all right. here we go. number one. you had the attack and the energy of an untamed young bull. testosterone everywhere. bru yes? let's find out. >> you had the attack and the energy of an untamed young bull! testosterone everywhere. >> jimmy: all right. that's a bru yes. see the next one. this next one is, don't be plastic, be fantastic, because you can. bru yes or no? all right. let's take a look at the tape. >> don't be plastic, be fantastic, because you can. >> jimmy: that's a bru yes. number three. did judge bruno say, you don't have to come and confess that you did. we're looking for you. we're gonna find you. i'm letting you know now so you can run and tell that. bru yes or bru no?
let's take a look. >> you don't have to come and confess that you did. we're looking for you. we're gonna find you. i'm letting you know now so you can run and tell that. >> jimmy: all right, that's a bru no. one more. did bruno say, you dance like a chicken in fluffer nutter and you hump like a monkey in heat. bru yes or no? bru yes? let's find out. >> you dance like a chicken in fluffer nutter and you hump like a monkey. >> jimmy: bru yes. [ cheers and applause ] bruno, everybody. come on, one more time. >> i make perfect sense, jimmy.
>> jimmy: can i say something? you do a lot of criticizing. i want to see your high five. let's see. >> why, what's wrong? >> jimmy: you'll have to work on that. >> i'm practicing, show me. >> jimmy: yeah, that's perfect. bruno tonioli, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you very much, jimmy, thank you. >> jimmy: wonderful to see you. judge bruno. [ cheers and applause ] i worry that he's going to, like, jump on my head and get into my ears or something. also tonight, the two hour premiere of abc's newest celebrity performance show "skating with the stars." why they didn't bring master p back for this one, i don't know. but i'm excited about this. i've been getting a little bored with the pulled muscles and the twisted ankles on "dancing with the stars." i'm ready for some serious
celebrity head injuries. the skating with the stars celebrity lineup is bethenny frankel, brandon mychal smith, jonny moseley, rebecca budig, sean young and vince neil. they get better, i'm sure, in future seasons. and then after "skating with the stars," we've got another show i think is going to be big too. >> if you like "dancing with the stars," then you'll love "skating with the stars." and if you love "skating with the stars," you're really going to love abc's zamboniing over the stars. check out all the celebrity flattening action on abc's zamboni-ing over the stars. >> top that! >> only on abc. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that looks like fun. hey, one more thing. last night, the american music awards were held here in los angeles. we had them on abc. justin bieber won artist of the year. hair of the year.
a whole bunch of the years. during his second acceptance speech, justin said, i'd like to thank michael jackson because without michael jackson, none of us would be here. really? [ laughter ] i'm pretty sure bon jovi would be there. lady antebellum would certainly show up. but who am i to argue with justin bieber? oh, our friend and celebrity photographer was on the red carpet. did you have fun? >> i had very fun, jimmy. thank you, yes. >> jimmy: who were you most excited to meet? >> i meet usher and backstreet boy. i don't know a lot on celebrity, i don't know the name, you know. >> jimmy: that's exactly why we sent him to the red carpet. >> hi, it's me, yehya. i'm here -- american music award. you have a lot of music people.
you want see everybody. i love music. let's go. usher, how are you, man? >> thanks. >> nice to see you, man. >> looking good. no, i can't give you a kiss. >> no problem in my country. >> no, no. >> no problem. i swear. >> no, no. >> give me your head. >> no, no no. >> what's your name? >> yehya sajak. >> i know my name is yehya. >> i knew one of us was. >> they show him on tv. i know. yeah. it's okay. hi, how are you? >> i'm good, how are you? >> what are you doing tonight? >> presenter to a singer. >> you want some soap? >> i'm fine. >> it's greek soup. >> i'm good. >> al pacino. how are you? miley. miley.
i have fallafa. heidi klum. jimmy kimmel. heidi klum. kelly. kelly. kelly. kelly. kelly. one moment. please, kelly. rihanna. rihanna. rihanna. rihanna. rihanna. i have falafal. you don't stop. rihanna. i have something very good. hold the microphone. >> okay. >> that is special food, falafal. >> it's too close to my mouth. hold on, i got it, i got it. you can't feed that to me. >> it's very good. trust me. you don't die. >> oh, you eat it like that. >> sorry, the food is back in
my -- i'm so sorry. how are you? god bless you, man. new kids? who's the backstreet boy? >> we're all -- >> we're all backstreet boys. >> and the young kids? >> we're all young kids. >> all young kids? >> yeah. >> okay. can you do something? can you -- i have new song for me now. okay. all together. okay. one, two, three. >> you sing it. ♪ yehya, yehya, yehya ♪ yehya, yehya, yehya ♪ yehya, yehya, yehya hey!
i want to take picture of you. >> hey! >> that's my name. it's okay. you no problem. very close, please. all of you. one, two. for me today, i'm done. i hope everybody win. and good luck for everyone. bye. thank you. [ applause ] >> jimmy: on the show tonight, from "castle," stana katic. we have music from train and we'll be right back with billy bob thornton. first is the first 4g phone. first is live video chat on the go. so you can be face-to-face even when you can't be. whether you're on 4g, 3g...
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train with music from the bud light stage. tomorrow night, we will welcome our "dancing with the stars" winner. will it be bristol palin? yes, it will be bristol palin. i got a tip from the producers, yes, she won the whole thing. plus, our old pal dominic monaghan and music from ke$ha. our first guest is an oscar-winning writer, an actor, a musician. he's got tattoos, he's a close friend of willie nelson, the man has it all. his new movie is called "faster." it opens in theaters wednesday. please say hello to billy bob thornton. [ cheers and applause ] very good to see you. >> you too, man. >> jimmy: i'm always happy to have you on the show. last time you were here, you were with the band. they weren't allowed in the
movie with you? >> no. >> jimmy: that's tough. how do you break the news to the guys? >> they always want to come along. >> jimmy: is it more fun being a musician than an actor? >> depends. i mean, you do find a lot of differences. in music, you get more of a visceral, you know, feeling, you know. >> jimmy: right. >> and the actor thing is a little more in your head. >> jimmy: and with music, when you're coming up, you have to play hellholes and you have to travel all over the world and -- well, you still do, either way. and that's -- i mean, that's somewhat fun i would think. but not necessarily -- like, you make no money doing this sort of thing. you've been doing this since you were a kid, right? >> yeah, yeah. had some hard times back in the old days. i mean, you watch the blues brothers, you see the screen where they go in the horrible place with the chicken wire. it's really not far from the truth. there are some places like that. >> jimmy: you keep rawhide in your back pocket just in case? >> yeah, it can be difficult. >> jimmy: you know who you should have brought on the road
with you is dwayne johnson, your co-star in the movie. are you a wrestling aficionado? >> i used to go to wrestling with my dad when i wallace a kid. back then, the wrestlers were guys like haystack calhoun, wore ov overalls. and supposedly some arab. i think he was from memphis or something, you know? but anyway, but danny hodge was a big deal. and i would go to the wrestling matches. and in those days, you know, when you're a kid, you don't know if it's real or not or whatever -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> and there were guys, older guys, my dad's friends, who would get really mad if you said it wasn't real. they would get in big fights over this stuff, you know? i talked to dwayne about it kuwait a bit because he started out in that. that's how we started out in this music conversation. he said, when you guys play these little dives and stuff, i used to do this as a wrestler.
he said they played flea markets. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, for like 50 bucks. >> jimmy: wow. >> he came up kind of rough in it. because his dad was one -- i figured he got ushered into it. no, he hit it pretty hard in the early days. >> jimmy: your uncles as adults believe that wrestle was real? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: to what do you attribute that? >> i don't know. i really don't know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hardening of the arteries? i mean -- >> yeah, i'm not sure how that happened. but -- >> jimmy: but it isn't, uncles, if you're watching, still with us. >> but the thing about it is, if you take a guy who weighs, like, 300 pounds, he stands up on the turn buckle and launches himself off, whether it's real or not, if you land on the thing on your knee knees, or on the guy, it's gonna hurt. >> jimmy: they're not like ma macy's thanksgiving day floats.
in that sense, sure, it's real. this movie you guys are in together, first of all, is this something you do from time to time? like, all right, i got to get off the road, i'm having too much fun with my buddies here recording albums, and i have to get back to acting? is this something like you have to focus on to do? >> well, i had some help with the focus this last time around. i been on the road for about two years on the band, off and on, in the recording studio. i don't keep up much. like, i don't know what's going on. like you guys have been talking about bristol palin, right? i know who sarah palin is. i had no idea she had a daughter that was on the "dancing" show. no clue. >> jimmy: they're multiplying and they're taking over our reality shows. >> i know. so i wasn't keeping up. i'm out there on the bus, you know, doing our gig every night, and i get back and i figure,
well, you know, i play with the kids, i watch tv, now i guess i should do a movie, and i start looking around and call the agent and whatnot. and i find out there aren't that many movies being made because there's a recession. and honestly, it sounds like i'm joking, but i really didn't know it was that serious. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> had no idea about this recession thing. [ laughter ] i mean, i watch sports, you know? they don't talk about the recession in sports. and -- you know, just tooling down the road in the bus watching espn. that's all i do. and then i figure, well, gosh, i better get a job, huh? [ laughter ] and so i'm looking around. the kids -- you know, like chewing on tuna can lids. like, i got to do something here. so anyway, they send me over the scripts that are available. and they're just horrible.
>> jimmy: oh, really? >> i mean, you have no idea some of the crap they send you. and then i realize that in two short years, movies have gone to -- from movies about people and real situations to nothing but fantasy movies and teenage vampires in 3-d and, you know, all this kind of stuff. like the lead character's an eagle, you know? i don't know. >> jimmy: an owl. not even an eagle. >> but somehow it's a guy too? >> jimmy: right, right. >> and so -- and i'm looking through here. and, like, two years ago, i was like this movie star guy who -- i was the lead guy. but now the offer i get is the sixth lead who is the janitor at some place that works for the eagle. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah. you know, something like that. and then -- and then i read
"faster," and it's like, oh, yeah, this is like the movies from the '70s. steve mcqueen movies. so it was cool. >> jimmy: youly lplay a cop and your name in the movie is cop. >> yes. >> jimmy: and dwayne johnson's name is driver. >> driver. >> jimmy: either that's clever, a little different, or you have the laziest writers ever. >> most likely it was written by like a 4-year-old. cop. driver. >> jimmy: we have a clip here from the movie. cop, would you like to set it up? >> you know, as a motion picture personality, i'm supposed to pretend i don't have a clue what it is. oh, yeah, i don't know what this is. whatever the studio sent over. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's an eagle i think. >> that's right. but no, this clip is actually a scene where i arrive. there's a murder scene. i arrive there.
i'm kind of sesing out the situation as cops do. >> jimmy: it's called "faster." it opens wednesday. >> what do you got? >> our guy did the world a favor on this one. >> got a telemarketer and sex offender. what's next, a lawyer? >> this day just got a whole lot weirder. witnesses place the second shooter on the scene. after our suspect whacked this guy here, he went and had a little shootout in the hall. >> maybe an armed neighbor? >> uh-huh, no one recognized this dude. they exchanged gunfire, then disappeared, both of them. >> how about the second shooter, any description? >> the word "beautiful" came up. >> beautiful? >> like a movie star. >> jimmy: there you go, just like a movie star. billy bob thornton, everybody. "faster" opens wednesday. we'll be right back with stana katic. anncr: this friday, it's the old navy gobblepalooza dance-off!
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please welcome stana katic. [ cheers and applause ] you look great and you smell really great too. >> great. i'm glad. >> jimmy: as a canadian, which thanksgiving do you celebrate? there's a whole different thanksgiving up there, isn't there? >> yeah, they celebrate canadian thanksgiving is in october. >> jimmy: weird. >> why? >> jimmy: i don't know. it's just different. so we consider everything different weird. >> okay. >> jimmy: is it like ours? i mean, do you have like turkey? >> we have a turkey and everybody gathers around and eat food together. >> jimmy: it's interesting you have a turkey. you think it's copied from our turkey thing? i wonder -- >> because native americans only existed in the u.s. >> jimmy: right, exactly, that's what i'm saying. well, they wouldn't be native
americans if they were in another country, would they? they'd be native canadians. [ cheers and applause ] so you do both of them or how do you work it? >> my canadian thanksgiving experience consisted of -- i was working at the time so i just twittered a photo with this canadian hockey helmet and a big thumbs up. >> jimmy: very traditional. >> it was awesome. >> jimmy: i know you speak five languages, which is very impressive. you speak canadian, speak american. what are the other ones? >> inuette. i speak italian french and some croatian which ends up being like four or five languages on its own. >> jimmy: your main language is english, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: so you dream in english, you dream in other -- >> it depends actually. if you're off in another country for a little while, you'll start dreaming in that language because that's what you're speaking with people. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's kind of cool.
>> yeah. >> jimmy: which is the best to use profanity? do you switch to -- >> owe, the one with the rolling rs, you know. >> jimmy: which one is that? >> that's serbian croatian. >> jimmy: give us one good curse word. >> am i allowed to? >> jimmy: i think so, i don't know. i mean -- [ cheers and applause ] let's just see what happens. go for it. let's see. >> [ bleep ] [ bleep ] [ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ] . >> jimmy: that must have been bad. what did you say? >> i said i love you, jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: that's very nice. there's nothing profane about that at all. wow that must have been really, really bad for as much as you're blushing. how did you get the job on "castle." that was your first big thing, right? >> i auditioned like nine times. it came down to myself and another girl. we did a screen test. it was one of those things where
i was traveling back and forth from a place where i was living which is about an hour, hour and a half away. and i came in and i brought the wrong shirt. i brought this long tunicgirly d eventually it will make sense. hair and makeup does their deal. i just figured it out one way in the studio. i tried to make it work and it's not working. i turned to the lady and said, hey, got a pair of scissors? i walk outside and there's nathan who's my co-star who plays richard castle on the show and he's having a cup of coffee. he's like, you want to run lines? i'm like, no, but speaking of lines, can you cut a straight line? he's like, i can't promise anything but what are we talking about? i said, here's scissors, here's my shirt, cut it shorter. he just started at it and he cut my shirt all short and proper so i could tuck it in and producers came out in the middle of it and i got the job. >> jimmy: wow, that's -- good thinking.
turn a man into your tailor and you've got him in the palm of your hand. you have some big guest stars this season. >> yeah, we do. we had lyle lovett. >> jimmy: i saw that. >> gilles marini. >> jimmy: the beautiful gilles marini. and yet you've got a star that's bigger than all of them. >> who is? >> jimmy: probably combined. >> who is? jimmy kimmel. are you coming on it? >> jimmy: what do you mean? you don't remember when we worked together? >> oh, that's right, you intergated me. it was terrifying. >> jimmy: in this amazing clip. >> where's beckett? >> i'm sorry, guys, that's too bright. >> where's castle? >> he's right there. you have to wait a second for your eyes to adjust to light. i apologize. >> who are you? identify yourself. >> i am jimmy kimmel. i am a talk show host. >> i am an nypd detective.
>> yes, i know you are an nypd detective. that's why i abducted you. because i'm trying to find something. >> well we don't have it. >> i haven't even told you what it is yet. i'm trying to find out where is -- where in the world is -- where is -- >> where's what? >> that's what i'm trying to tell you. >> a woman who thought that she was abducted by aliens? >> no, that's ridiculous. it's not a person. >> what about jfk? >> no, it's not a person. listen -- >> castro? >> i just said it's not a person. >> mafia and castro? >> it's not a person, okay, not a person. >> shape shifting aliens that only look human? >> will you stop guessing please? no more guesses, all right. you're out of guesses. >> is this the part where you bring out the old nazi with the dentist drill? >> no. this is the part where i bring out my old uncle frank with a pez dispenser. >> hey, jim. >> jimmy: hey, uncle frank. good acting.
>> whatever you guys are looking for, we don't know where it is. >> you don't even know what it is because you don't listen. you guys are the worst detectives ever. >> no. >> no, come on. >> jimmy: these people are unbelievable. let's go back to headquarters and eat some of that pez. what do you say? to that idea? >> no, get your own. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i tell you what, you're such a pro. i really enjoyed working with you and nathan. and great work on your part, uncle frank, too. >> thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: i think you could get an emmy for this one. stana katic, everyone. "castle" returns monday, december 6th, at 10:00, right here on abc. coming up, music from train. here, take the card.
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but there's one thing left to do ♪ ♪ now that the weight has lifted and love has surely shifted my way ♪ ♪ marry me ♪ ♪ today and every day marry me ♪ ♪ if i ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe ♪ ♪ say you will mmm mmm say you will mmm mmm ♪ ♪ together could never be close enough for me to feel like i am close enough to you ♪ ♪ you wear white and
i'll wear out the words i love you and you're beautiful ♪ ♪ now that the wait is over and love has finally showed up my way ♪ marry me ♪ today and every day marry me ♪ ♪ if i ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe ♪ ♪ say you will mmm mmm say you will mmm mmm ♪ ♪ promise me you'll always be happy by my side i promise to sing to you